Scared to Sleep

Its now 12:43 Am EST, 25hours now since I have been up. I feel Like sleeping but for some reason I don't want to. Each time I close my eye guilt overcomes me. Is this for real! I ask myself. I feel guilty to sleeping knowing there is so much to be done, knowing that some many is suffering and unable to lay there head on a pillow like mine. I know this because I lived it before and it is Oh so real.

Finding balance these days have never been so difficult, knowing when to say enough is becoming foreign. But to say such a thing is unlike me. A matter a fact it is so risible. Me of all person, I laugh at myself. Now that I think about it I have always been this way so why am I conscious about it now? Am I scared? I don't feel that way it is more like a feeling of dualism. You know that feeling where you feel scared and impatient at the same time? yeah that's the feeling. But patience is a virtue I have been told I have a lot of but these days I get so impatient I can't sleep. Ah there it is that is the reason I cannot sleep now that I know this I will get some ZZZZZ...